Jitters And Jerks; How To Handle Both

December 7, 2009 by Astrid Engels
Filed under: Relationships 

People who use internet dating to find a date are usually pretty well versed in how to keep their nerves from showing. When meeting someone for the first time it’s natural for our stomachs to be full of butterflies! So we’re good, but what can you do when your date is not so at ease? Read on for some tips;

This is always so endearing but frustrating. You can tell that your internet date is really happy to being getting some face time with you but clearly your overwhelming, unbridled awesomeness is just a tad intimidating. I mean, can you blame him? Certainly not. But still, you want your date to relax, both for the sake of having fun and because there’s no way for you two to really get to know each other if you’re not at ease enough to communicate.

The best way to approach this is in a caring and sympathetic manner. Try acknowledging that you sense they’re nervousness and admit that you feel the same. Even if you don’t, this little white lie can work wonders in putting your date at ease. Follow this up with the suggestion that you put these nervous feelings aside and concentrate on having fun. Suggest that you both lighten up a bit, and then change the conversation to something lighthearted.

With a bit of luck your date will follow suit and the date will progress as it should. What if your date doesn’t follow your lead? You can do only so much. After all, it’s a date not a therapy session. If your date simply doesn’t warm up there’s no reason to be rude, but you might want to consider making it an early night. It’s possible that your date is always reserved. It’s also possible that he or she needs to ease into things and your second date will be much better.

Okay, you’ve dealt with the nerves and the two of you are actually talking! Congrats. About an hour into the date, you discover that your date is actually a bit of a jerk. No, make that a total jerk.

It’s all a bit mysterious. You know he works with animals and he’s told you lots of stories about his nieces and nephews who love him to pieces, but now that you’ve actually laid eyes on him and have seen the way he treats random strangers; yeah, he’s a jerk. While his emails were sweet and even charming, the way he’s snapping at the waitress and the guy who accidentally bumped into his chair are downright embarrassing.

This is one of those things that you can’t possibly predict from online communication. Sadly, the anger that is currently being directed at others could just as easily be directed at you in the future, and that’s a chance that is just too unsafe to take.

Now this may sound a bit callous but here’s the thing. Dating someone with anger issues is like going to the pet store and buying a puppy or a kitten knowing that it’s already sick. Sure, you can get a healthy one that may develop issues down the road, but at the very least you should shop around until you find the healthiest one possible.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds more helpful dating articles. You can get a unique content version of this article from the Uber Article Directory.

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