So Your Partner Needs More Space?
Relationships work differently for different people. Either way they require work. Part of that work may be to adjust to the other person\’s idea of how close is close, which may leave the other feeling distant.
An only child, such as myself, is used to their own company and often happy in it. For others with siblings, they may be less intense, and not value privacy as much.
When your partner tells you that they need space, they are not necessarily pushing you away. I say not necessarily, because let\’s not kid ourselves here, they may genuinely not want to be with you, but if all other areas of your relationship are ok, then it\’s nothing to fear.
In other words, a good way to judge whether this request for more space is a message telling you it\’s over, is to ask yourself if this is strange behaviour. If it is out of character, then you need to talk.
You see, people like me, who need time to themselves, will always be like that. In other words, it will be there from the start of the relationship, you\’ll see it as a character trait of your partner. It\’s nothing personal, and nothing to do with not wanting to be with you, just a need to be quiet and alone, for no other reason than to contemplate life.
Having gone through all that, if you decide that this is a new form of behaviour, you may need to talk!
With all the free information available on the web today, it does not take long to work out that all the relationship so called gurus advise a complete break of communication after a split. This is to avoid saying the wrong thing to your ex due to high emotion.
However, it\’s important not to confuse the no contact rule in a breakup with a patner wanting more space.
A partner wanting more space often has nothing to do with their partner. These types of people, and I am one, simply like to retreat from the stresses and strains of the world for a few minutes and contemplate their navel. I don\’t know why. Why isn\’t an issue. The fact is, I want to be with my wife, but i also want to sit quietly alone sometimes.
Communication is essential to any relationship.
When you stop spending quality communication time together, things can get harder. I say quality communication time, because quality time together is one thing, but it may not involve talking to each other.
Try and make a date each week to be together. No kids, no TV, no friends. Have a meal, go for a walk, but don\’t do anything where there are distractions. The point is that you are dating to talk to each other.
Once you start sharing your lives again, even if your partner wants more space, at least you will have a better understanding of why.
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